We All Get 24 Hours

Priorities, planning and time have all been on my mind for a long time. I have a lot of things going on right now and really have too much on my plate to continue with business as usual. I'm in my last year of graduate school and am looking for work. It's a pretty busy and involved process, let me tell you! Add on the birth of our third child and trying to brush up on some skills to put on my resume and it makes me feel like I've been pushed overboard in the middle of eel-infested waters.

Our 4th Sunday lesson in Elders Quorum today was really timely for me and has given me a lot to think about. The lesson was called "A Time to Prepare" by Elder Ian S. Ardern and is from the October 2011 General Conference. It reminded me a lot of "Good Better Best" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the October 2007 General Conference, which I've read dozens of times. This topic is so important for me right now because of how much I try to pile on my plate and accomplish each day/week. I've overwhelmed myself and it's time to change. The Lord has been giving me hints in this direction lately and these last few weeks (since my baby was born) has given me the chance to think about the direction I need to go in life.

For the past few weeks we've had my mom and then my mom/dad-in-law in town. We know they came to see the baby, but they helped out with a whole bunch of things around the house and were an awesome support. I was able to stay home from school to be with Angie and take care of needs, big or small. There was way more to do than I expected and our parents took care of lots of stuff. I would have been a mess without them.

Now they've gone home. And here we are. There's almost no way for me to convey (in person, let alone on a blog) all the responsibilities that I have on my shoulders. So I won't try. But I feel that I have been guided by Spirit of the Lord for the past months in knowing what to set aside. My dad taught me that the order of life's priorities should be

1. Relationship with God

2. Wife and kids

3. Church callings

4. Career

5. Hobbies

and this list has aided me in my decisions my entire life. It has landed me where I am today. I'll just sum up what I've thought and felt lately by saying that #2 has gone up on my list from where it was and #5 (such as developing my board/card games) needs to take a back seat to job hunting.

Time and time again I have neglected to make time for relaxation. I'm always trying to pack each day full with what will make a better Future: teaching kids, more scripture study, better programming skills, and much more. And guess what? I missed out on the Todays that I've been creating with all my hard work from Yesterdays.

It's time to change. And I'm happy to tell you all about it as I move forward.

It's a Good Day for Ice Cream

The coolest thing happened a little while ago with my oldest boy. He repeated something back to me that confirmed a really good habit that I've been trying to teach my kids. What he said was, "It's a good day for ice cream."

Even though my kids are young and small, I believe the two pieces of advice that older parents have given me about teaching the gospel. 1) Kids are never too young to learn and 2) out of all the things you say, you never know what will really stick in their minds. So teach them continually and begin when they're young.

Here's the habit that came back to bite me in the bum shake my hand and tell me good job: after doing service, take the boys out for ice cream.

I've been taking my boys to service projects and to help families move in/out of our ward for several years. I started taking them before I thought they could even be any positive use in the actual project. In fact, I thought it was so important for them to see service in action that I took them to activities where I would have to watch out for them and be of little use myself. It was a tough internal battle as I made that decision, but I'm glad I did it.

Now my boys are (well, my older boy is) excited to do service. A few weeks ago I was headed out to help with a move and I thought there would only be a couple people there. I only told my wife ahead of time because I didn't want my kids to go. On this particular day, we ate lunch and I got my shoes on to head out of the door before everyone else was done. My older boy asked where I was going. To my great surprise, he said, "Dad, I want to go!" Why would I say no to that? He finished up his lunch and got his shoes on.

And we were off.

I thought that I was going to be a kid watcher and not a super mover, but I was ok with that. On the way down, when my boy told me it was a "good day for ice cream," I just thought he was trying to sneak in a plug for a sugary treat. I wanted to say no, but first asked him why. "Because we always get ice cream after service!"

Wow.

Awesome.

And that's my story. Well, there is more. I have to say how complimentary everyone was of his hard work. He kept picking up big stuff and actually carrying it without tipping over or dropping anything. We even carried out a coffee table that really belonged to the apartment. Even though it was really heavy for him, he helped me in a big way. However, when we found out that it had to go back he didn't think he could handle it so I carried it back myself. It was really funny. And he did a really great job.

I believe that when we are in the service of our fellow beings, we are only in the service of our God (Mosiah 2:17).

Does anyone have a service experience that they want to share? or a gospel lesson that kids have learned and repeated back to you?

Random, Act of Kindness

The Good Samaritan, Luke 10:25–37
link to pic

This story is so odd that I have to share it. Perhaps it will sound like a "right time, right place" coincidence to you. We shall see.

My mom was here helping us after our new baby was born (thanks a bazillion, Mom!) and I took her to the airport to catch her flight. When she was getting her boarding pass I looked over and saw a girl who has been taking the missionary lessons and attending my ward (Random!). I think she was planning on getting baptized. Well, I told my mom I wanted to say hi to this girl before we headed to the food court for lunch. When I went to talk to her, I could see she was on the phone and having some difficulty in line so I didn't bother her.

Fast forward past lunch (Philly cheesesteak, yum!) and saying a tearful goodbye to my mom at the security gate. I was going to the food court to play on my laptop for a few hours while I waited for my mom-in-law to arrive.

Well, on my way back I passed the ticket counter and saw the girl on the phone again. It was obvious that something was wrong so I stopped to see if I could help her. "Is everything ok?" I asked.

"No. They won't let me through security. I don't have a driver's license and all my other identification is with my family (in another state). Security doesn't accept faxes because they can be tampered with." Then she told me about the crazy situation she was in: she got on the plane to come here with some high school ID (a copy with a picture that could easily be confused with a dark storm cloud at night) and this airport won't accept it; the other airport probably shouldn't have either. Since she was dropped off and didn't have any money, she was stranded at the airport, trying to make phone calls and somehow get on her flight. Security would allow one thing that she could try to get...hospital records with her personal information (wow, I never thought of that). Things weren't looking good. Not good at all.

She was even more distraught because she paid someone gas money to get to the airport and didn't have anything else to get home...or to get back to the airport even if she got the hospital records.

Does the Good Samaritan come to mind? It does to mine.

I told her I'd be around for a few hours anyway and I could take her back to her friend's house near where I live. To make the rest of the long story short, I bought her lunch, told her I could take her home and bring her back the next day (the airport is an hour away).

Happily, she got the hospital records and I took my family for a drive to the airport the next day. The airline employees and security officers remembered her and hoped that she'd get the okay to proceed. It was a nervous time while we waited for the right person to give clearance, but it finally came. Phew! She was grateful and so was one employee who said something like, "Sir, I don't know who you are, but you are doing this person a huge favor."

It's amazing that I was there to see a fellow citizen in need and had the time/resources to help her when she couldn't help herself.

By Their Works Ye Shall Know Them

As you saw in my last post, we had a baby last week. There are several things on my mind about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the service that we have received and the love that has been shown to us since even before little Briggie was born. I'd love to name names, but when I describe the acts of love and service you'll know who you are.

From the moment people started finding out that Angie was in labor and that we were at the hospital, we started feeling the love. Luckily, I posted something on FB about Angie's water breaking before I left home because we didn't get any Internet signal in the rooms we were in. I really wanted to let people know what was going on during the day...but it didn't happen.

We got phone calls while we were at the hospital to congratulate us and someone brought us a Hospital Survival Kit with treats and some items that came in really handy; stuff like shampoo and hair elastics. Great thinking! Some friends started calling the hospital room before Briggie was even born. So nice! We felt so much support from family and friends near and far.

One friend picked up our boys from the bus stop and fed them dinner before bringing them to the hospital to see their new little brother. A couple families even offered to let our older boys sleep at their house so I could stay the night in the hospital room. That was a huge expression of sacrifice and we appreciated it a whole lot.

There are many good-hearted people in this world that love to serve others and do kind deeds. Some of these people belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and others belong to other denominations. I am grateful for the love of God that comes to my family through others, no matter what church they attend (or even if they don't attend!).

The phrases that come to mind that relate to gospel living are these:

Service in action

Faith without works is dead (James 2:20)

Faith, hope and charity with an eye single to the glory of God (Doctrine and Covenants 4:5)

The gospel of Jesus Christ truly moves people to serve others in love. In many ways I wish we had not had the baby until my mom was in town. Her flight was booked months ago and Briggie was born earlier than expected. But, now that we're past those difficult days, I am very grateful that my mom came after we received so many acts of love. We would have missed out on so much. Many people have offered to bring us meals. As the husband and father of three, I think I appreciated this the most out of any of us. It was nice knowing I didn't have to make meals with so much on my mind! Someone volunteered to come over one night to watch our boys so I could spend some quiet time with Angie in the hospital. Guess what she did? She washed the dishes and cleaned our nasty stove. Thank you!!!

My testimony of service has increased. Each person that did one of these small or large acts of service said it was no big deal to help us out. Added together, these were literally more than I was able to do. The next time I help someone out and they thank me for my time and effort, I will remember what it was like to receive.

The title "By their works ye shall know them" comes from Moroni 7:5.

Multiply and Replenish

"Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1:28) has been on my mind a lot lately since my wife has been expecting a baby. Well, now he's here. Let me tell you some stuff about the birth experience.

Several lucky things happened as far as timing goes:

1. Delivery on a Friday, that's about as good as you can ask for because of the weekend ahead.
2. Full night's rest before the water broke...I was pretty wiped out by the end of the day and I'm not even the one who was in labor! It was a pretty emotional and busy day.
3. The end of Daylight Savings time. You're wondering what Sunday morning has to do with a Friday delivery? Getting kids ready for church all by myself is trouble, but the extra hour was bliss. :)

Since it's football season, I've been thinking about things in common with our kids/births in terms of Win-Loss records.

Boys: 3-0
Girls: 0-3
Strong wife up to delivery: 3-0
Placenta luck after delivery: 0-3
Yanked outtie belly buttons: 2-1
Average umbilical cord length: 1-2
Eensy Weensy umbilical cord: 1-2
Longest umbilical cord, ever: 1-2
Dad cutting umbilical cord: 2-1 (partial correlation with yanked outties)
Home births: 2-1
Hospitalization: 2-1
C-sections: 1-2

In a recent blog post I mentioned how I feel so, so stressed over adding too much to my schedule. I keep thinking about my time priorities and how family should be at the top (next to relationships with Deity). Well, spending time in the hospital and having my third boy has been a really good time to re-focus, re-prioritize and relax (relaxing from work, anyway).