Conference is in the air

The first weekend in October is coming! What an awesome time of year this is. I think I subconsciously associate General Conference with the chilly morning air of September. It's an awesome time of year for a few reasons like no more summer heat, trees change colors (well, lots of trees in this area just go to sleep, but stay green), and the dark mornings will soon brighten with the end of Daylight Savings. All cool stuff.

Of course, I've been waiting for 6 months for General Conference. Ever since the last amen by President Monson in the Sunday afternoon session in April I have looked forward to October. And for 6 months I have read conference talks and have lessons on them in sacrament meeting talks and in elders quorum meetings. I also listen to talks in my car on my way to school. There were tons of awesome talks last conference and I'm re-reading some of them now and loving them. You know what's funny? I notice a big difference in how I feel when I read talks for my morning scripture study compared to when I hear them in the car. The Spirit is stronger when I read. It's probably because it's quieter and because I'm not distracted by details of driving.

This last week or so, I read and heard some really cool talks. When I really concentrate on them, I feel the Lord reaching down from heaven and filling my mind with directions for all aspects of my life. He helps me in my research, especially when I'm stuck on something. He helps me be a loving and kind husband. He helps me see how to teach my kids the gospel so they will be happy, both in our home now and for the rest of their lives.

The most important part of listening to conference talks, of course, is to feel and recognize the Spirit and learn how to become like our Savior, Jesus Christ. There is a tasty side to General Conference for our family. You may remember that we make peanut butter popcorn! T&L, if you're watching, thanks again for that recipe. :)

We have started talking with our boys about conference weekend. This helps us to look forward to it and also to settle down and prepare our minds for the weekend. It's like a marathon mixed with a fire hose. It really takes a few months to digest all the talks properly. And I'm thinking now about ways I can adjust my scripture study to make it for efficacious. This time I want to read through all the talks and mark them up. When I've done this in the past, I get more out of them when I hear them in the car. It doesn't go the other way for me.

Last night Angie brought up taking notes as she was heading to the Relief Society session of General Conference. It is something I used to do a lot more than I do now. I was on the extreme end in my younger years, to the point that only be able to summarize the talk and the stories therein and miss the real meaning or the principles that the Lord would have me learn right then. Now I'm on the other extreme and I hardly take any notes. Today at church, my friend JO said (and if it wasn't him, it was someone else in our joined meeting) that he takes notes just so he can pay attention. The debate for Angie and me is whether or not it actually helps because we don't go back and read the notes! I know that taking a few notes will keep my mind on the talks so that's a good reason for doing it. The times I take notes on what impressions come to me are the times I take away a really important theme for me to work on. It's really important to me and I love working on things and improving myself.

Maybe taking notes like that works for you too. If you'd like to share your thoughts on how you take notes, please do. As for me, I'll have out my little notebook and watch and listen for the Lord's direction in my life.

And eat some peanut butter popcorn.

Stop it!

I've had an amazing and shocking experience since Brigham was born. My struggle with sanity and parenting for the past several years has become the norm (unfortunately) and the birth of my third son has been a big wake up call in how I deal with "problems" that I face on a daily basis.

For you parents out there who have more than one child and, for better contrast, with several years in between any two kids, this should make a lot of sense. Our lives turned to bliss when Brigham was born. Even the energetic older kids pushed the pause button on the ludicrous speed. I would look at Briggie and think, "Wow, I love you so much. Why do I love you so much? I don't know, but I do know you haven't done anything to make me mad."

A few days or weeks after the novelty of our newest birth wore off, we got back to normal. And I mean the normal that I've been trying to turn into happy times with less success than I hoped for. The short of it is this. The all-too-common complaining and bickering spurts would raise my temperature and then I'd look at the new baby who has never yelled at me and my feelings would abruptly change. Yes, that was a good feeling. I'm not complaining about that for even a (milli)second. The shock was that I have the difficult times and deal with those circumstances with such negative emotion.

It's really sad to me to think that I don't handle life and challenges better than that. I used to handle challenges like the water running off the untouchable duck's back. Now I long for those days and am trying to get that back. Piece by piece. Little by little is better than nothing. And it's been a hard road so far. There has been progress lately and I guess that's why I'm writing this blog post.

This last General Conference had some talks that talked about the problems that come when we hold onto anger, hurt and other prideful feelings. I've heard these different talks just this last week or two so they stuck out. Elder Scott talked about how anger, hurt and defensiveness gets in the way of receiving revelation. President Uchtdorf, in his now-famous "Stop it" talk taught me the following. I'll quote the paragraphs that mean the most to me. I'd like to paste his whole talk in here. It's that good.

Jesus taught: “Forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not … [stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin”³ and “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”⁴

Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable—when applied to someone else. We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.

Man. This describes me all too well. I have to admit to myself that when my kids are being kids (not making bad choices, I mean just being their learning selves) that my bad reaction does not have to enter the equation. The situation would be better off if I could just chill. I'd also be better off for the time I'd gain back where I, instead, have to cool off.

He said, “… of you it is required to forgive all men.”⁷

May I add a footnote here? When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror.

This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

So I have some major renovation to do and I've already begun. It's hard. I believe that Jesus the Christ has paid for my sins and felt all the pain that I will ever suffer. He is willing to take that upon Himself because he loves me and He loves you. "Come unto me" comes with a beautiful reward of peace and happiness. Guess what I just realized? It also comes at a price. What price? "I will show unto [you your] weakness" (Ether 12:27). And while I am struggling now, I know from experience that the peace that will come into my life and permeate my heart in the end (and yes, at certain points along the way) will be much higher peaks than the valleys of difficulty.

I take great comfort in at least one point of Christ's doctrine. It is that children under the age of accountability  are without sin and are perfect in Him. Skyler isn't even 8 yet so he is, in at least that sense, perfect. As I've watched him make choices I can see that he has the purest intent in everything he does. He is just hard to control. 

Control? Yes, apparently that's what I'm after. And it is I who needs to let go. 

I am applying the two-word sermon of "Stop it" and I already feel the Lord's tender mercies in my life. Outcomes are not what I would choose them to be. I'm frustrated on a daily basis, but avoiding the buildup of stress and anger is reward enough for the hard work. I hope this weakness will become a strength unto me.

General Conference was awesome, once again

Our family spent Saturday morning relaxing and getting ready for a day full of conference talks from church leaders. We made peanut butter popcorn, as promised, and snacked on it in three sessions. (By the last session on Sunday, we had completely forgotten about it. Sugar overload, I guess.)

We have spent years helping our little guys be reverent in sacrament meeting. It has paid off at church and it sure pays off on conference weekend. The boys actually sat through most of the first session before they got restless and went to play in their room. They often play quietly and that was the case this time too. Our boys are just the best.

We felt the Spirit so much by paying attention to the talks, talking about the messages together and listening for messages that would answer questions that we had written down beforehand. A couple questions I wrote down were:

How can we be a happy family?

How can we know the Lord's will for moving after Dad graduates?

I've been working on being patient with my boys. It can be tough sometimes. And I feel like they are really, really good boys. They bring a lot of happiness, peace and joy into our home. I'm so glad to have them. We are happy when we cooperate, speak kindly to each other, give lots of hugs, spend time together and have tickle fights.

I'm getting closer and closer to graduation. It's kind of weird to be so close to the end. It has been coming for nearly 6 years and now it seems like it's zooming up! We are talking about what kind of house we want to live in, how big it might be, if it will have a yard, what Skyler will do if there's no snow during the winter, etc.

We also got some bonus material from conference talks. It's stuff for our extended family. We have family members who are struggling with some tough medical and parenting issues. We passed along our thoughts to them and, hopefully, helped strengthen them at the same time.

Conference is just the best. I look forward to downloading all the talks (they are all available here now. Enjoy!) and swapping out the CD in my car from last conference.

Maybe I'll blog again about the talks I liked the most. If anyone suggests what they like to read here, I could lean toward more conference talks and scriptures or family happenings. Or else I'll just keep writing about whatever happens each week.

It's been 6 months since I started this blog. I've posted something each week and I'm s'happy that I have. I love talking about the gospel and hearing that others are reading my blog. Thank you all for reading, sharing it, and Liking it. May you be blessed for helping share the gospel!

The feeling of "General Conference" is in the air

I love General Conference. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints assembles two weekends a year, in April and October, to listen to church leaders and get a full dose of Spirit for the next six months. I look forward to conference weekend for several weeks before it actually arrives. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks now.

I like to listen to talks in my car from the previous conference. I have made some attempt to keep a growing list of my favorite talks and listen to them in the car too. We used to have to buy the CDs from ldsdistribution.org, but now they put the mp3s on lds.org and I download them within hours or days and burn them to CD. I didn’t want my several years’ worth of sets to go to waste so I gave them to other people to listen to. I was happy to get back so many “thank you”s. The warm fuzzies made it all worth it!

The new signin on the church’s web site allows users to keep notes online. I’ve been marking conference talks mainly, but also making some notes in the scriptures. That came in handy one Sunday in particular. I can’t remember if I blogged about it or not, but I’ve told the story many times. One Sunday there was a mix up with the elders quorum instructor and nobody had prepared the lesson. I borrowed an iPad, accessed my notes on the conference talk and we had a nice lesson.

I love technology.

I also love that song from Naponeon Dynamite, where I got those words/lyrics.

One silly thing about scheduling General Conference is that it’s not on “the first weekend of April/October”. It’s actually on the first Sunday and the Saturday preceding it. The “numbers guy” inside of me has been looking forward to this happening for a long time. I’m sure it’s happened in my life, but I don’t remember when. I’m happy to see that it’s happening this month. Conference starts on Saturday, March 31. Woo!

Our family has a tradition for watching General Conference that we started to get the kids excited to watch it. We talk about this tradition leading up to it and Skyler has already been talking about it. What do we do? We make peanut butter popcorn and chow down as soon as the first session starts. We have usually made a double batch, but found that it’s way too much for us. That was enough popcorn to give us a treat during several of the sessions and still have some left over after Conference weekend. We have trimmed down our consumption to one batch.

Here’s the recipe. It's from our friends, T&L.

2 poppers popped popcorn, remove unpopped kernels
1/2 cup white karo syrup
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt

Cook the sugar, honey and syrup for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and add the vanilla, salt and peanut butter. Drizzle over the popcorn and stir. (This is the end of the recipe. Try it. And enjoy. Thank me later! :) )

The peanut butter really stands out in this recipe. It’s probably all the sugar and corn syrup. We actually halved the sugar in the recipe and I think it’s tastier now. It was too sweet before. (The recipe listed here has the amount of sugar we use.)

Men's Choir: Rise Up, O Men of God

This song is from the priesthood session of the most recent general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Oct 2, 2011). I was very touched by the Spirit when I heard this song and focused on the words. The message is powerful and the following talk by Elder Jeffrey R.Holland stirred me to action. That's what lead me to start this blog and you can read all about it in my first post. I like listening to this song once in a while because it inspires me to do great things!

We All Get 24 Hours

Priorities, planning and time have all been on my mind for a long time. I have a lot of things going on right now and really have too much on my plate to continue with business as usual. I'm in my last year of graduate school and am looking for work. It's a pretty busy and involved process, let me tell you! Add on the birth of our third child and trying to brush up on some skills to put on my resume and it makes me feel like I've been pushed overboard in the middle of eel-infested waters.

Our 4th Sunday lesson in Elders Quorum today was really timely for me and has given me a lot to think about. The lesson was called "A Time to Prepare" by Elder Ian S. Ardern and is from the October 2011 General Conference. It reminded me a lot of "Good Better Best" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the October 2007 General Conference, which I've read dozens of times. This topic is so important for me right now because of how much I try to pile on my plate and accomplish each day/week. I've overwhelmed myself and it's time to change. The Lord has been giving me hints in this direction lately and these last few weeks (since my baby was born) has given me the chance to think about the direction I need to go in life.

For the past few weeks we've had my mom and then my mom/dad-in-law in town. We know they came to see the baby, but they helped out with a whole bunch of things around the house and were an awesome support. I was able to stay home from school to be with Angie and take care of needs, big or small. There was way more to do than I expected and our parents took care of lots of stuff. I would have been a mess without them.

Now they've gone home. And here we are. There's almost no way for me to convey (in person, let alone on a blog) all the responsibilities that I have on my shoulders. So I won't try. But I feel that I have been guided by Spirit of the Lord for the past months in knowing what to set aside. My dad taught me that the order of life's priorities should be

1. Relationship with God

2. Wife and kids

3. Church callings

4. Career

5. Hobbies

and this list has aided me in my decisions my entire life. It has landed me where I am today. I'll just sum up what I've thought and felt lately by saying that #2 has gone up on my list from where it was and #5 (such as developing my board/card games) needs to take a back seat to job hunting.

Time and time again I have neglected to make time for relaxation. I'm always trying to pack each day full with what will make a better Future: teaching kids, more scripture study, better programming skills, and much more. And guess what? I missed out on the Todays that I've been creating with all my hard work from Yesterdays.

It's time to change. And I'm happy to tell you all about it as I move forward.

My Friends, the Scriptures

I met Elder Richard G. Scott on my mission in Brazil; he has a penetrating gaze. His General Conference talks are powerful and direct. He just says it how it is and the Spirit does the rest. Lately he has shared some really personal family experiences and feelings at conference. He is really great.

I have started to read/study the most recent conference talks and Elder Scott's talk was the first talk this time. (Now that's very weird. President Monson was the 4th speaker and he made some comment about wondering how things would go if he weren't there. I have a feeling he wasn't there when it was time to broadcast. And the meeting began without him.)

So the part of Elder Scott's talk, The Power of Scripture, that meant so much to me was how the scriptures are like packets of light (ooh, that resonated with my inner physicist) and that memorizing scriptures is like having a host of friends go with us everywhere and can be called upon at any time. What an analogy! He quoted a whole bunch of his favorite scriptures and I'd like to do the same. He quoted from Proverbs 3, which is among my favorites. And he quoted from Moroni 7, which teaches us how to acquire the love of Christ in ourselves.

These are my "go to" scriptures that I turn to when I need consolation, guidance, direction, strength to do what is right, and to be uplifted when I feel down. These are some of my best friends.

1 Ne 3:7

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Psalms 3:5-6 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalms 46:10, D&C 101:16 

Be still and know that I am God.

Moroni 7:45-48
And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

D&C 121:45-46
Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

Alma 37:37
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

Ether 12:27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Moroni 10:5
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

1 Ne 4:6-7
And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do. Nevertheless I went forth

Forget Me Not

My wife came home from the Relief Society session of General Conference at the end of September and told me that she heard the coolest talk from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf about the small, five-petal flower called the forget-me-not.  She said it was really awesome so I had to check it out for myself.

The petal of President Uchtdorf's talk that hit home the most for me was "Forget not to be happy now".  All too often I spend time thinking of what's coming next and preparing for something later.  Yes, preparation is important.  However, it's been on my mind lately that when I spend all my time practicing or studying for something later I miss what's going on now.  Finishing my graduate degree and preparing to get a job seems to be all I can think about...I'm talking about my spare time.  It is difficult for me to sit still and enjoy the now.  But I know that the Lord would have me enjoy things today that I have already worked on in the past to get to where I am.  I'm selling myself short if I spend all my time thinking of the future (e.g. using all my free time to finish developing a board game for future financial gain) instead of taking some time to talk to my wife just catching up on life or playing with my kids before dinner and bedtime.  Multiply this scenario by about 5-10 times and that's how much I try to cram into my schedule.

I'm trying to figure out how to put the most important things into my schedule and to not over extend myself, which is easy for me to do.  I have told myself many times that I am willing to go, go, go all the time.  King Benjamin taught me that it is not required to do more than I have the strength to do (Mos 4:27).  I really feel that I have to cut back on how much I try to do because I'm just a man.  Not Superman.  I tend toward overexertion, rather than laziness, and I see that I need to change my priorities because I just cannot do everything I want to do.  The Lord must come first and my family must come second...that much I know.  We live in a busy world and so many things seem fun or worthy of my time.  The trap I keep falling into is cramming all of it into my schedule.  I push and pull, squish and twist my schedule until it's really packed full.  I do that for as long as possible.  Then, after I stress out and crash, I realize that I have to cut back and try again.  But be smarter about it the next time.  No, not smarter.  Wiser.

The comparison of Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket was so good.  Eating chocolate used to be a reward in and of itself.  Now, the chocolate is meaningless if there's no winning ticket inside.  Sad.

What was your favorite petal of the forget-me-not? and why?

Binding the tongue of the faithful

In a recent talk in General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) spoke of raising our voice of warning, of sharing the gospel and of serving missions by young and old alike. This gave me the courage to make the final push toward sharing my testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ in a blogging format that can spread throughout the world. I have wanted to blog about inspirational talks and scriptures a few different times, but was so moved by Elder Holland's words that I knew that I couldn't delay any longer. I can set aside a little time to accomplish this important work. Lately, I have felt that my time is not really my own, but is God's gift to me and that I need to use it in better ways.

I believe that more testimonies need to be made available online in order to bring peace to individuals that are searching for the Lord. We live in a world of turmoil where, let alone the doctrinal discord among churches that believe in Christ, the meaning of life is diluted amid a myriad of ideas, trends and appetites. I love the fact that Church leaders have encouraged members to share their testimonies and feelings about the gospel using the technology available to us. This same technology is being used to advertise every idea -- big and small, important or trivial -- to anyone that will listen. I will share my testimony so that people with righteous hearts who are seeking the truth may come to know the Master Jesus Christ.

Elder Holland also spoke of the fight between good and evil that has been raging since the dawn of time; this war is still going on. We already know that the Lord will win and that the evil one will lose. It is for us to decide whose side we are on by the actions we choose to make on a daily basis. By these choices we become like one captain or the other. We cannot pretend to fight for both sides. Either we fight for righteousness or we will find ourselves on the losing team.