Trust in the Lord with All Thine Heart

Proverbs 3:5-6 just took on a deeper meaning for me this morning. I've been thinking tons about getting a job after graduation and have been applying to lots of jobs that sound interesting and that would use my skills I learned doing astronomy research. If you've read some of my other posts about how I stress out about things, it should come as no surprise that I have been stressing out about where to move and what job to take.

A few areas in the private sector where I'd do well are image processing, quantitative data analysis, physics modeling, problem solving, algorithm design and technical writing. From that list alone there are many different directions I could go as I take my first step into what academics call "the real world".

I'm an idea man. I'm also a perfectionist and a completion-ist (I got that word from my friend Rebecca. Thanks, Rebecca!). This spells trouble in times like this where I am free to explore ideas. There are several different avenues that any one of those skills could take me. I've spent tons of time looking up companies and job descriptions. I'm not sure that I'd call it a waste of time, but "overkill" is pretty accurate. When I see that I've spent too much time on job hunting, do I sit back and relax? No. By the time I begin any sort of relaxing technique to clear my mind, more ideas flood in and the stress level stays just the same. Nice try, self.

This morning I took a break from my Book of Mormon reading and flipped through some pages that I have bookmarked with those little tassels. I've had a tassel in Proverbs 3:5-6 for a very, very long time and I have read it at least once in the last week. Today it meant a whole lot more to me. Here's what it says.

  5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
  6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

I felt the Spirit tell me that I have been putting in too much effort on my own and have not used my faith in the Lord to ask Him for direction. My patriarchal blessing gave me wise counsel specifically about my career and I really do feel His direction in this important decision. However, I realize that I am trusting in my own power to fulfill the blessings promised to me. I'm overdoing what needs to be done and drowning out the Lord's will for me because I'm doing so much busy work. Instead of studying more companies and finding more job openings, I need to pause more often, pray and ponder. I need to take each day and week one at a time. I need to be actively patient and act in faith.

Then I cannot go wrong.

"Balance," I keep telling myself. Now I need to figure out how to do that.