Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Self-Reliance

Stake conference was this past weekend and there were lots of great talks on Saturday and Sunday. There were more musical numbers performed than I remember being typical. They were inspiring and beautiful.

Stake conference has been really awesome for the past few years of my life. Maybe it's because I'm older and wiser. (The "older" is not in question...I can see a growing number of gray hairs when I look in the mirror. Let's just pretend I said "wiser" and we'll go with that.) Maybe it's because I have a stronger testimony than I did in years past or that I understand gospel living better now. Maybe it's because I have to drive over an hour to get to our stake center. The physicist and mathematician in me wants to tell you that it's a linear combination of those reasons (but I don't feel like modeling it right now). I feel that driving a long distance -- or sacrificing in any other way to get there -- allows people to be more open to the promptings of the Spirit and to take away more from the experience. That sure is how I felt this weekend.

On Saturday we talked about self-reliance and how to teach others to become self-reliant. The areas that were focused on were the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of life. We all have our unique set of strengths and weaknesses. We believe in self-improvement, self-discipline, self-mastery and in helping others do the same. The Lord taught me through the peaceful feelings of the Spirit what I need to do better in these matters. I'd like to tell you about one of them.

Out of the three areas mentioned above, my weakest is currently the emotional side. Basically, I try to do everything that I think is good...and I try to do the very best I can at each thing. All the time. When I say it like that I can already see the recipe for disaster. What I learned about being emotionally self-reliant came to me when someone in the afternoon session explained how we can be financially (physically) self-reliant. The answer is simple: to be financially self-reliant we need to live within our means, spend less than we earn, save some for a rainy day, and accrue as little debt as possible. When I heard those familiar words, I instantly felt that I could apply them to my emotional bank account.

I have a feeling that I know what people mean by having a "mid-life crisis". The stress has mounted higher and higher over the past couple years as I try to do more and more. When something else comes along I try to add it to the mix. Stress increases. Then I have to add some stress management to try to cope. The trend: keep adding stuff. The result: eventually cracking.

That's where I feel I'm heading unless I change now. If not? Some year. Some day. Boom! Mid-life crisis. Not good.

Believe me, I've been trying to change. Well, maybe I've been trying to cope without changing. That continued the mess. Now I see how to handle my time management and emotional budget in terms of finances. Financial matters are easier for me to handle so I love the comparison. I really need to spend less time than I have, save some of it to relax and wind down each day, and accrue stress in amounts that I can handle (like shorter term loans that I can pay off with a Sunday nap or an evening of vegging out).

This seems like a weird post. It's pretty personal, but I did set out to write about my journey through life with the scriptures. This is my struggle and I've been praying for help for a long time. Answers have come a little at a time. This feels like a big one and I'm grateful. Now I need to prevent myself from adding more stuff to my relaxation time.

If you care to comment or send encouragement to any other readers (or to me! :) ), please do so.